


Before It Begins

by The_White_Rabbit42



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Soulmates, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 21:52:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10840173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_White_Rabbit42/pseuds/The_White_Rabbit42
Summary: Imagine finding out Gabriel's your soulmate when he confronts Lucifer.





	Before It Begins

You don't know who this beautiful stranger is, but he swoops in out of nowhere to save the day.  He’s entertaining, you’ll give him that, and you hate to admit the occasional winks he sends your way makes your stomach flutter in ways you don't expect.  

 

When he fakes his death the first time, you begin to understand what the Winchesters mean by “Trickster.”   Though you barely know him, he grows on you in a way that’s unexplainable, as is the way he makes the nickname, “sugar” sound as if it’s made just for you.  When he puts himself between all of you and Lucifer, you’re convinced the angel is insane as well as a hero. 

 

It’s the single most courageous thing anyone’s ever done for you, and you don’t even get the chance to thank him before Dean is pushing you toward the door.  

 

You're almost there.  Your heart beats in an increasingly chaotic cadence the closer you get, and freedom is just a few steps away when everything comes crashing to a halt. 

 

Gold flashes, but not just across your vision as a flurry of feathers springs up without warning.  The color sinks beneath your skin, sparkling across your soul in a scintillating scheme of warmth and brightness whose blueprints bring with it a visceral certainty.  It feels the world is coming into focus for the first time in your life as everything seems that much more.  Colors, shapes, sensations, from the way the tension cloys around you in the air to the way you can smell the tumultuous rush of emotions buzzing about in a heady fever pitch of adrenaline, fear, and the infiniteness that radiates from the primordial beings about to square off, and the sudden awareness pulls a sharp gasp from you.    

 

The noise draws their attention and Lucifer turns.  His eyes have shadows cutting through the dawn that breaks like waves against a shore deep inside you.  You can feel the frost in his gaze as it slides over you and in an instant, he knows.  The smile he gives is beyond smug; whispers of secrets and consequences, the likes of which you cannot imagine and would never want to.  Your emotions are taut, your brain at a standstill because you’re grappling with the meaning of what this feeling even is, other than simply divine.  Neither prevents your body from reacting on a level that’s beyond your mind’s control.  

 

You kick and claw and bite and snarl against the Winchesters, as if they are adversaries, and the only connection you have left at that moment is standing across the room.  They tussle with you, and the sheer shock of the sudden shift nearly has you breaking free.  

 

The look on Gabriel’s face is terrifying.  Not because he’s fearsome or furious; it’s because the moment his eyes meet yours, something changes in him too, and he’s suddenly more determined than ever to see this through. 

 

“Get her out of here!”  The walls shake with the fierceness of his command.  When everyone stops to stare (including Lucifer) at the absoluteness in the archangel’s tone, he forces them back with a flick of his wrist, releasing a powerful burst that pushes you all those last few final inches before slamming the doors shut in your face.  

 

“No,” you shriek, but even before you reach for the handle, you know there’s no going back. “ _ No _ !”

 

You don't know which one of them grabs you.  It doesn't make a difference who it is that drags you to the car.  You feel yourself shattering, dropping pieces behind you like a trail of breadcrumbs, though there will be no one left to follow them.  The screams that echo down the hall turn to desperate wails.  By the time you’re out the door, you’re silent.  Everything you had is left inside that hotel as Dean hastily peels out of the lot.  

 

They don't understand.  They keep looking at you like you’re going to snap again at any moment.   You barely comprehend it yourself, but you  _ know _ .  You know and they  _ don't  _ and you wish to God you didn't either.

 

You don't even notice when the goddess disappears.  It's not her absence that makes the world grow empty.  You’re not even ten minutes out when that light you’ve just discovered flickers out of existence.  Your eyes shut for the briefest moment, and when they open again, the night is darker and more vast than you remembered. 

 

The glances eventually stop, leaving you with nothing but silence, confusion, and the certainty of a gnawing hunger that cannot be sated as it searches fruitlessly for something on which to feed.  You watch the moon move across the sky.  You see the sun slither out from behind the horizon, but time no longer holds the same meaning.

 

It's only when the car stops that you blink; something skirts the edge of your subconscious, and you feel able to step out of the car with the brothers.  You blink again and suddenly Sam’s laptop is on the roof and there’s something beginning to play.  That’s when you see him again, your majestic savior, and what you thought was empty is no longer, but the pieces that remain are broken shards that cut so deeply they tear through parts of you you never knew existed. 

 

As you gaze at the achingly beautiful face on the screen, that same visceral certainty returns, only this time you don't feel whole.  

 

This time you know you’ll never be complete again.  


End file.
